


Green (Kara loves it and hates it in equal measure)

by BloodInTheFields



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lots of dialogues, like a lot, the boys make an appearance as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:17:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8685460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodInTheFields/pseuds/BloodInTheFields
Summary: It’s not that Kara doesn’t want Lena to have other friends, no. Not at all. Why wouldn’t she want that? Pfft. It’s stupid. Lena can totally have more than one friend and Kara’s fine with it. If Lena wants to start hanging out with Winn, or accepts an invitation to go out and drink from Alex; then Kara is happy for her.or, in which Kara is a jealous hoe who doesn't understand what she's feeling.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this over several days, so sorry if it's not all coherent ^^  
> Feedback's great, positive or negative!

It’s not that Kara doesn’t want Lena to have other friends, no. Not at all. Why wouldn’t she want that? Pfft. It’s stupid. Lena can totally have more than one friend and Kara’s fine with it. If Lena wants to start hanging out with Winn, or accepts an invitation to go out and drink from Alex; then Kara is happy for her.

 

But then on Monday morning, while she stops by the DEO on her way to work, all Kara hears from Winn is how great Lena is, and how smart she is, and how he’s sure she’s a genius like him, and… Kara finds herself wanting to punch him in the face. That’s a reaction she doesn’t understand, and doesn’t want to dwell on. So she pretends to be late for work and flies away.

 

On Monday evening, Alex stops by with pizzas and a bottle of wine. Kara chooses the movie, and perhaps that’s why Alex starts gushing about Lena in the middle of it, as if she can’t contain her excitement over this new friendship. Kara sighs and pauses the movie, then listens silently as Alex tells her how Lena sent her a funny picture of a pigeon today. Kara refrains from rolling her eyes because, really, what is so funny about a pigeon? They are annoying and stupid, and she has to dodge them when she’s flying because they’re too dumb to move out of the w—

 

Okay, this is a pretty funny picture, Kara admits, when Alex presents her with it. But why did Lena send it to Alex and not her? Isn’t Kara, like, her best friend by now? She knew her before anyone else did. She introduced Lena to the gang. Why would Lena send a picture of a dumb pigeon to Alex and not her? Her sister waves her hand in front of her face.

 

“Earth to Kara Zor-El?”

“Huh? Oh. What? Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I’m saying we’re all going out for drinks on Friday, if you’re free.”

“All? Who’s all?”

“The usual. Winn, James, Mon-El, Lena and me. And you, I hope.”

“Lena, huh?”

“Yeah, I think it’s time she gets to know James and Mon-El, well, _Mike_ , a little better.”

 

Kara wants to ask why exactly that’s something Alex thinks Lena needs, but she doesn’t. Instead, she says she’ll make sure to be free on Friday night bar some rogue alien showing up. Alex smiles and nods, and they resume watching the movie in comfortable silence.

 

__

 

Kara only sees Lena briefly on Wednesday when Snapper Carr sends her to L-Corp for an interview with the CEO. Lena’s happy to see her and they spend more time chatting than discussing the actual topic Kara’s supposed to report on. In the end, she has her article and the promise that they’ll see each other on Friday night. It’s enough to get her through the next two days.

 

__

 

Surprisingly, Kara is the first to arrive at the new bar the gang has decided to check out. They are supposed to meet at 9 and she’s a bit early. The place is not yet in full swing so she settles in a booth big enough for all of them and waits. Winn and James arrive together barely ten minutes later and find Kara eating onion rings by herself. She slaps Winn’s hand away when he tries to steal one.

 

“Get your own,” she orders sternly.

“Fine,” he grumbles as he walks over to the counter.

“Hey Kara,” James greets her as he slides next to her on the round, fake leather banquette.

“Hey.”

 

They engage in conversation easily and when Winn makes his way back a few minutes later with onion rings and three beers on a tray, James shoots him a thankful smile. The three of them are halfway through their first beer when Mon-El shows up, at twenty past nine. The Daxamite wastes no time in getting his own beer that he spikes with some gold liquid from a small flask he carries in his pocket. Kara looks at him and he smirks, then hands her the flask.

 

“Careful. It’s strong.”

 

Kara nods and lets two drops of it fall into her own glass. Then she takes out her phone and texts both Alex and Lena, asking them if they intend to join them soon. When she checks her phone again after fifteen minutes and sees that no reply has come, she frowns.

 

“Kara?” James asks.

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“Yup, just waiting for the rest of the gang.”

 

When Alex and Lena enter the bar over half an hour later, they’re laughing together and Kara’s mood somehow darkens.

 

__

 

She gets drunk. She slips up and calls Mon-El _Mon-El_ twice. Alex covers for her by telling Lena that it’s a nickname for Mike, because Mike is such a weirdo he could pass for an alien. Lena buys it, or at least she pretends to. She’s too engrossed in her conversation with James to care. _James_ , of all people! Isn’t he supposed to dislike her based on who her brother is? At least that’s what Kara believed he thought.

 

Lena pays very little attention to her in her attempt to make friends with Mike and James. Kara really doesn’t understand why she’s so bothered by it. She doesn’t like to feel ignored and invisible, but she should accept that Lena wants to have other friends, and yet there’s something about the situation that doesn’t sit well with her. Something about the way Jimmy smiles at Lena, about the way Winn tries to make her laugh, about the way Mon-El keeps complimenting her… All of that gets on Kara’s nerves and so she drinks the night away. Alex glares at her and, after her fifth drink, Kara is whisked away to the bathroom.

 

“What is wrong with you,” Alex asks as she pushes her sister against the door and holds her there with one hand.

“What d’you mean?” Kara replies, her diction a clear indication of her intoxication.

“Why are you behaving like this? And who the hell brought alien alcohol?”

“Mon-El. I’m fine. Everything’s cool.”

 

Kara can almost see the wheels turning in Alex’s head as she tries to work out why her sister is acting so weird. Kara decides to help her out.

 

“You were late. And you arrived with Lena. What’s going on between you two?”

 

It sounds a lot like an accusation, and if Kara’s being honest, it is one. Alex takes it for what it is and raises an eyebrow.

 

“What’s going on is that Lena asked me to pick her up after her meeting and the meeting lasted longer than she expected.”

“D’you like her? What ‘bout Maggie?” Kara slurs.

 

Alex stares at her for what seems like an eternity before she pushes Kara to the side, opens the door and, before she leaves, tells Kara to get her act together. Then she disappears and Kara’s left with more questions than answers.

 

__

 

When she makes her way back to the table, Lena, who’s been talking with Mike while Kara was gone, looks up and smiles at her.

 

“Kara,” she exclaims as she moves away from Mon-El, who was mid-sentence.

 

He pouts for a minute and then turns toward Alex, Lena already forgotten. Lena, whose emerald eyes are now on Kara and seem amused and a bit curious. Kara sits down heavily next to her, bumping into James.

 

“Hey,” she says, loud enough for Lena to hear over the music.

 

When has it gotten so loud anyway? Lena’s hand finds Kara’s knee and she squeezes once, amicably.

 

“I haven’t had a chance to catch up with you tonight,” Lena starts. “Thank you for telling Alex to invite me.”

“I did? I mean, I did, yes, just in case she’d forget. No big deal.”

 

Kara throws a glance at her sister, and she wonders why Alex would lie to Lena and say it was Kara’s idea to invite her.

 

“It means a lot to me that you feel comfortable enough to introduce me to your friends,” Lena adds.

 

Oh, that’s why. Alex knew that Lena would be grateful, and she wanted Kara to receive a thank-you… probably to make her feel like a jerk. When she turns her head toward Alex again, their eyes meet and Kara has the decency to look sheepish.

 

Yes, she has been acting like a jerk the past few weeks and apparently her sister has noticed, even though she’s remained quiet about it. Lena seems genuinely happy to be here tonight. She’s smiling and laughing and Kara’s heart aches. She’s been selfish with Lena. Unwilling to share the other woman for fear of… of what, exactly?

 

Kara doesn’t get the chance to think about it too much because Lena’s suddenly pushing her out of the booth and stands up as well. The CEO wants to let loose on the dancefloor and she doesn’t want to do it alone, apparently. Kara gulps and throws a panicked look at the others who pay them no mind. And then she’s dragged to the dancefloor by an overenthusiastic Lena.

 

And Rao, Kara did not expect that. Lena looks sinful in her black dress, but even that is nothing compared to the way she looks now, with her body moving to the beat of the music. Kara is dumbstruck, unaware of the people bumping into her as the small crowd goes wild over the new song playing.

 

Kara tries to keep up but she remains decidedly out of beat, which is weird because she’s usually a decent dancer. But she can’t tear her eyes from Lena’s figure and the other woman has noticed because she comes closer and grins. Kara trips over her own feet when Lena throws her arms around Kara’s neck. At least it makes her laugh. Kara’s face reddens and she’s glad that it’s darker here on the dancefloor than it is sitting at the table.

 

“Come on, Kara, show me your moves,” Lena yells over the music.

 

Kara breathes in and out, in and out, and then she steels herself, grabs Lena’s hips and turns her around so that her back presses against Kara’s front. Thank Rao she’s drunk alien alcohol earlier because she definitely would never have done that if she was sober. But Lena’s not even surprised. She adjusts to her new position and starts grinding against Kara and…

 

And Kara understands.

 

What she’s been feeling this whole time. Why seeing Lena with her sister, with Winn, makes her stomach churn. Her hands on Lena’s hips hold her tightly against her own body and suddenly it’s like Kara is transformed because she dances, dances like she’s done that her entire life. Her super-hearing picks up the low whistle from a random dude near them, and she even hears Winn choke on his beer and cough his lungs out subsequently.

 

She doesn’t care.

 

Not when Lena’s hands are tangled in her dark locks and she throws her head from side to side while her—her _ass_ grinds so hard into Kara that she has to push back otherwise she’ll end up stepping back.

 

Kara doesn’t know how long they hold that position, how long the song lasts, how long they dance together. She just knows that she doesn’t want it to end, and her alcohol-fueled brain refuses to analyze why right now.

 

It’s Alex’s hand on her shoulder that makes her break the rhythm and Kara glares at her so fiercely that she’s actually thankful she has her glasses on, or she might have just pulverized her sister right this instant.

 

“DEO needs us. Emergency,” Alex says, not bothering to yell because she knows Kara will hear her just fine.

 

Reluctantly, Kara tugs at Lena’s hips so that she turns around and, with a nod in the direction of their table, motions for Lena to follow her.

 

“Sorry, we need to go,” she explains.

 

Lena looks disappointed but she’s quick to hide it. She hugs Alex and waves at James and Winn as they leave. Kara looks at Mon-El who’s made no move to leave and is still nursing his drink.

 

“Mike,” she barks. “Let’s go.”

 

He sighs and gets up, winking at Lena.

 

“Are you coming too, Lena?” he asks.

 

Kara stomps on his foot and he winces. Lena doesn’t seem to notice though, and she politely declines what she thinks is an invitation to tag along.

 

“No, thank you, I should get home.”

“I’ll wait for your cab to arrive,” Kara offers.

“Yeah we’ll wait with you,” Mon-El says.

 

Kara has to fight the urge to break his toes.

 

__

 

The wait for the cab isn’t long but it’s awkward. Mon-El tries to hit on Lena a few more times and Lena, ever polite, smiles at him and plays along. Kara can tell she’s absolutely not interested and is simply entertaining him but she still wants to tell Mon-El to shut up and get lost.

 

Finally, a taxi stops in front of them, and Lena bids them goodnight. She accepts gracefully a hug from _Mike_ and then, of her own accord, hugs Kara with both arms and kisses her cheek once.

 

“Be careful,” she says.

 

And then she’s gone.

 

__

 

Kara doesn’t even think about it until much later that night, when she’s in her pajama, under the covers of her bed.

 

 _Be careful_.

 

Why would she say something like that? As far as she knew, Kara was going home. But now that she replays the scene in her mind, Kara can’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a double meaning to seemingly ordinary parting words.

 

As if Lena, somehow, knew.

 

Kara doesn’t sleep well that night. Images of Lena dancing, chatting with Winn, laughing with James and flirting with Mon-El haunt her dreams. In the morning, she wakes up feeling absolutely not rested.

 

__

 

Alex confronts her on Sunday. She wants explanations as to why Kara’s been in such a shitty mood lately every time Lena is brought up. Kara simply says that she felt pushed to the side and was afraid to lose her friendship with Lena if the Luthor found herself liking the others better than her.

 

“Kara,” Alex sighs, “you can be really daft at times. You’re always going to be Lena’s favorite friend.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, actually. Do you want to know Lena’s favorite topic to discuss when I’m with her?”

 

Kara can tell it’s a rhetorical question so she simply waits.

 

“You. She loves to talk about you. She asks me questions about your childhood, and you have no idea how tricky that is because what am I supposed to tell her about toddler Kara? Or about the name of your very first best friend? No one is going to replace you, Kara. But there’s enough room there for more than just one friend.”

 

Of course there is. Kara suspects that Lena’s capacity for love is even greater than her own. The poor woman has been starved of it for so long. Kara was once her only friend in National City.

 

The conversation with Alex doesn’t go much further than that. Kara understands now, that she’s Lena’s number one. Still, it doesn’t entirely explain what she felt on the dancefloor Friday night.

 

__

 

She doesn’t avoid Lena. Definitely not. That would mean something’s wrong between them, and nothing’s wrong. Kara just happens to be very busy. She writes articles for Carr and she works extra hours at the DEO. It’s not like she’s purposefully trying to dodge Lena’s calls and if she doesn’t reply to a text, it’s simply because she forgets.

 

But Kara has nowhere to be that Thursday morning when Lena Luthor stops by CatCo, royally ignores everyone staring at her, and stands firmly in front of Kara’s desk. Because yes, Kara has a desk and a chair now.

 

“Lena,” she squeals when she looks up and sees the woman standing there.

 

Lena’s wearing a black blouse and a white pencil skirt, and her hair is up, and she’s simply beautiful. Kara gulps.

 

“Kara, hello. Sorry for dropping in on you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

She looks genuinely concerned.

 

“I’m—I’m fine,” Kara stammers. “There was no need to come all the way here. You could have called.”

“Really,” Lena asks as she walks around the desk to lean against it, right next to Kara’s chair. “Because I tried calling, several times in fact. I know your voicemail by heart. Cute, by the way.”

 

Kara winces and looks down.

 

“Sorry, I’ve been busy this week.”

“Hmm.”

 

Lena clearly doesn’t buy it.

 

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about something rather… delicate, but since you’re busy…”

“Wait, what? No! Tell me,” Kara exclaims.

 

Her coworkers glare at her and she smiles sheepishly. Then she grabs Lena by her elbow and together they walk toward the elevator.

 

“Tell me,” she repeats softly.

“James asked me out on a date Saturday evening. I’ve been debating whether I should accept or not. I know you two have history.”

 

Kara thinks the world’s about to open beneath her feet and swallow her whole.

 

__

 

The walk to the nearest coffee shop seems excruciatingly long. Kara is silent but her blood feels like it’s boiling, and she must look like she is about to explode because Lena keeps throwing worried glances at her as she tries to keep up with Kara’s pace.

 

They’re about to go in when Lena stops Kara and pulls her to the side.

 

“Maybe a public place isn’t ideal for this conversation. You look like you want to yell at me.”

 

Kara says nothing and instead, she walks back a dozen feet and turns right, in a deserted alley.

 

“Listen, Kara, if—”

“When did he ask you?”

“Monday. He stopped by my office for business and asked me out right before he left. I told him I’d think about it. I really wanted to talk to you first.”

“Do you want to date him?”

 

Her tone is dry and her face is devoid of any of her usual warmth. Lena opens her mouth to speak, then closes it and she looks away. Kara takes that as a yes.

 

“You do, don’t you?”

“I don’t know, Kara. He’s nice.”

“You don’t date someone because they’re nice,” Kara retorts. “Otherwise, you could date pretty much anyone, from Alex to me!”

“Well, neither of you asked,” Lena replies with the same dry tone.

 

Kara is at a loss for words. She’s refused to even entertain the idea of Lena being anything other than straight because she knew the fantasies would be out of control, but Lena’s words sound an awful lot like either a joke or a sort-of coming-out and Kara isn’t sure what to do with that.

 

“Look, if it makes you uncomfortable then I won’t go. He’s your ex. I understand.”

“It’s not that,” Kara says before she can stop herself.

“Then what is it?”

 

When Kara fails to answer, Lena smiles sadly and shakes her head.

 

“Well, when you figure it out, let me know.”

 

Kara doesn’t have it in her to run after Lena when the latter walks away without another word. She’s confused. So confused. She knows that she doesn’t have feelings for James anymore. He’s free to date anyone he wants. Not Lena, though. Not her.

 

Because imagining Lena happy with people that are not her, well, it upsets Kara. Greatly.

 

__

 

Jimmy is brooding when she sees him the next day. She doesn’t ask why. She pretends she doesn’t even see him. Inside her, someone does a little happy dance. Lena turned him down.

 

__

 

Lena is colder than a snow storm when Kara sees her next. She drops by L-Corp as Supergirl and pretends to check on the CEO but Lena’s busy and she tries to dismiss the alien several times while being as polite as she can.

 

Kara tries to lighten up the mood and even cracks a couple of jokes, but Lena’s impassible. When finally she can’t be anything other than rude, Lena looks up from her desk and finds Kara’s eyes.

 

“Supergirl, I’m really not in the mood for some chit-chat today, so please, leave me alone.”

 

And in those green eyes that Kara has grown addicted to, she thinks she sees recognition and hurt. Betrayal.

 

She flies away.

 

__

 

There’s a loud crash on her balcony and Alex rushes to the window, gun drawn and ready to shoot. When she sees Kara, in her red and blue outfit, she sighs and tucks the gun safely behind her back before helping her sister up.

 

“Are you drunk?” she asks, worried and pissed.

“Alex, I messed up.”

“Yep, you’re drunk. Come inside. Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

And Kara talks. She talks about Lena and James, and about how she wanted to break his jaw, and maybe she has anger issues and the DEO should analyze her blood to see if she hasn’t been contaminated by something. Alex listens and doesn’t say much until Kara’s done talking and lets her head fall onto her sister’s shoulder.

 

“Anyway, I’m pretty sure Lena knows I’m Supergirl.”

“What?!”

“I can’t explain it. And I’m too drunk to really be coherent about this right now. But she looked at me like she knows.”

“Shit, Kara.”

“I know. I’ll tell her the truth. Hope she doesn’t hate me.”

“She won’t,” Alex assures.

 

Kara falls asleep soon after.

 

__

 

When she wakes up the next morning, Alex is watching her with a soft look on her face and a steaming cup of coffee in one hand. Kara understands that it’s the smell of coffee that woke her up. She grabs the cup and thanks her sister.

 

“Sorry for crashing at your place like that.”

“It’s fine. I have to go though. J’onn wants to see me.”

“Okay. You can lock the door; I’ll just fly home.”

“Okay.”

 

Alex kisses her forehead and walks toward the door. Before she leaves, she looks at Kara and says one more thing.

 

“Jealousy, by the way. What you’re feeling, about Lena. It’s jealousy.”

 

Jealousy. It makes sense, in theory, but Kara can’t accept it. She’s felt it before, when James was dating Lucy and she was crushing hard on him. But that’s just it: she was _crushing hard_ on him at the time. And there’s no way Kara Danvers is crushing hard on Lena Luthor.

 

No way.

 

__

 

Except that the thought doesn’t leave Kara’s mind. Because it really does explain everything she’s been feeling lately. And it makes her feel less like a jerk because it’s not that she doesn’t want Lena to have other friends, it’s that she doesn’t want Lena to date someone that is not her. And, well, that is selfish but Kara can do something about that. She can work on that.

 

Oh, but first, she has to tell Lena about who she really is. The lie has gone on long enough.

 

__

 

So, as it turns out, Lena really is upset with Kara because she pretexts a meeting every time Kara stops by her office the following week. Every single time. Kara knows that despite being the CEO, Lena doesn’t have that many meetings to attend to. So Kara does the only thing she can think of.

 

She shows up at Lena’s apartment on Saturday evening.

 

Lena’s eyes go wide when she opens the door and sees Kara standing in front of her with a smile and a bottle of red wine in one hand.

 

“Kara?”

“Hey. Thought we could hang out tonight. Unless you have a meeting to go to,” she says as she walks past Lena into the apartment.

 

The door closes quietly behind her and Kara tries her best to appear normal and absolutely not dumbfounded at the sight before her. In all of her years on Earth, she has never seen such a beautiful place. It hits her now that she’s never actually been here before, and the only reason why she even knows where Lena lives is because she’s done some research on the Luthor after their first meeting.

 

“Wow, that’s… a nice place.”

“It is,” Lena says, her voice carrying undertones of uncertainty and curiosity. “Kara, what are you doing here?”

 

At this, Kara turns to face her and clears her throat.

 

“Right, uh, well, there’s this thing we need to talk about.”

“If this is about James—”

“No! No, it’s not. It’s about me.”

“Okay…”

 

Kara takes a deep breath and, without exhaling, she walks over to the awesome-looking leather couch and sits down. Lena, eyebrows raised, watches her go and then follows her to sit next to her.

 

“Kara, spill it, okay? You’re worrying me.”

“No,” Kara exclaims as she finally allows herself to breathe again, “don’t be worried. It’s just… Please don’t hate me?”

 

It’s the one thought that absolutely terrorizes her. What if Lena feels betrayed? What if Lena hates her? But no, Lena wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t—oh. She’s holding Kara’s hand now, and the Kryptonian has to remember to breathe.

 

“Tell me,” Lena asks again, softly.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you. About who I am. And I probably should have told you that before but I just never really thought the moment was appropriate. But I want to be honest with you, Lena, so I’m going to go ahead and say it and hope that doesn’t make you want to… to not be my friend anymore.”

 

Lena looks at her intently and squeezes her hand in support.

 

“Kara, are you… are you coming out to me?”

 

__

 

So, maybe she has a brain fart, or something like that. Because Kara doesn’t answer that right away. She doesn’t deny it. She says… nothing. She stares at the soft carpet beneath her sneakers and she desperately tries to remember what she’s supposed to do now but her brain doesn’t react at all. It’s like it short-circuited. So, yes, a brain fart.

 

“Kara? It’s okay, you know? I’m not… I’m not going to judge you or to think any less of you at all. Actually, I’m—”

“No, it’s not—it’s not. I mean it’s not what I was about to say. Sorry. I realize now that this must’ve sounded really confusing. I’m just really bad at this.”

 

Lena looks completely lost. Still, her hand hasn’t left Kara’s so she takes that as a good sign.

 

“I didn’t come here to discuss my sexuality. I came here to… Oh, you know what? I’m just going to… show you.”

 

She gets up. Well, not really. She gets up, and up, and up, until her feet don’t touch the floor and she’s basically floating in the living-room of Lena’s dope apartment. Then she takes off her glasses and waits for a reaction.

 

Lena looks at her, totally unimpressed, and Kara knows things are about to become much more complicated between them. Her feet touch the carpet again and she carefully sits back down.

 

“Uh, so… You knew.”

 

The brunette nods.

 

“When?”

“I was suspicious pretty much from the moment we met. You walked into my office with Clark Kent. I’m a Luthor. I know who he really is. So I watched you closely and, well, little by little I put pieces together and I figured you out. And, well, at the club the other night, your grip on me was so strong that I ended up with bruises the next day.”

“What?! Oh Lena, I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize—”

“Kara, it’s fine, really. They didn’t even hurt. They were just marks, that’s all. But that only confirmed what I already knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it wasn’t my place to say anything about it. You obviously wanted this to be a secret. I respected that. I figured you’d come clean once you trusted me enough.”

“I trust you. I mean, I trusted you long before tonight. But I just… never thought it was a necessity for you to know.”

 

Lena looks at her pensively, head tilted to the side. Kara thinks she’s never been so nervous. The green eyes staring at her are inscrutable and she feels naked under them.

 

“Why is it a necessity now,” Lena ends up asking.

“Because I’m tired of lying to you. Because you confide in me and I just can’t do the same if you don’t know about me. So, yeah, I’m Supergirl. And I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long.”

 

In her mind, Kara has envisioned this conversation over a hundred times. Well, she has mostly thought about what Lena’s reaction would be. Anger was the answer most of the time. Sadness, too. But Kara has never, ever envisioned a hug.

 

And yet, that’s exactly what Lena does. She scoots closer to her and hugs her. Kara freezes and she might even stop breathing. But then Lena runs a hand up and down her back and it jolts Kara back to life, and her own hands find Lena’s back.

 

“Thank you for telling me,” Lena says.

“Thank you for not throwing me out,” Kara replies.

 

And when they pull back, Kara makes the mistake of looking into Lena’s eyes. What kind of superpower does the other woman have; she wonders. Because those eyes make her want to confess her every thought, and before she can stop herself, Kara blurts out:

 

“I don’t want you to date any of my friends.”

“I think I gathered that from the way you freaked out the other day,” Lena reminds her, amused. “But don’t worry, Kara. I have no intention of dating any of them.”

“But James?”

“I entertained the thought for a moment because it felt nice to be wanted, but I’m not interested in him or in Winn. Or in _Mike_.”

 

Kara ducks her head a little.

 

“Yeah, Mike. About him…”

“That’s not his real name, is it? He’s not human either.”

“His name’s Mon-El. He’s from Daxam.”

 

Lena hums and smiles.

 

“Well, I’m not going to date Mon-El either. As a matter of fact, men aren’t exactly my preferred type.”

 

Kara almost faints.

 

__

 

She flies home. From Lena’s balcony. It makes Lena laugh and the wind carries the sound with Kara for long seconds after the apartment has disappeared behind her. She wants to do somersaults.

 

Lena has been nonchalant about the whole thing. She’s told Kara about a couple of ex-boyfriends when she was younger, and then about the few women that have made it to her bed over the years. “Not that many,” she’d explained, “because of my last name.”

 

Kara doesn’t much care about the past, but she cares that Lena isn’t into James and that Lena likes women because maybe now… Now what?

 

The glee that she’s felt during the way back to her own place abandons Kara suddenly. She falls onto her couch, head first, and groans.

 

Now what?

 

What if Lena… Oh Rao, what if Lena likes _Alex_?

 

__

 

Somehow, between Saturday night and Sunday morning, Kara manages to convince herself that Lena is into her sister and she’s in an absolutely pissy mood when Alex stops by for lunch.

 

“Did you fall off the bed,” Alex asks over dessert.

“Alex, you would never do anything to hurt me, right?”

“Kara? What’s going on?”

“Just… You wouldn’t, right?”

“Of course not!”

 

Kara contemplates her answer for a moment and then looks down at her hands on the table.

 

“If Lena asks you out, say no. Please,” she murmurs.

 

Alex almost drops her glass of wine and her eyes go wide.

 

“What? Wow. Back up. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Yesterday… Lena told me she wasn’t exactly into men.”

“And? Wait. You think because I’m gay and she’s… whatever she is, we’re going to hook up? Are you serious?”

“Well, you’re both attractive and smart and funny, so why not? And you’re already friends!”

“Oh Jesus, Kara! Seriously?”

“I don’t know,” Kara yells as she gets up and starts pacing.

 

Her sister puts both hands on her shoulders and stops her. Kara stubbornly refuses to meet her gaze.

 

“Listen to me, you goof. Lena and I are friends. Nothing more. She knows about Maggie. I told her, okay? Your jealousy is uncalled for and frankly, it’s starting to get on my nerves. You _like_ her, okay? Do you understand what I’m saying? Nod if you understand.”

 

Feeling ashamed and childish because of her outburst, Kara nods sheepishly.

 

“Good,” Alex continues, “good. Now, you need to do something about it, Kara, or it will eat you alive. Things didn’t work out with me and Maggie, but maybe they will for you. You can’t hide forever.”

“I’ve never felt that way before,” Kara admits quietly. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

With one arm on Kara’s shoulders, Alex walks them to the couch and they sit side by side. She lets her fingers caress her sister’s hair soothingly.

 

“Lena loves you, you know? Even if it’s just as a friend. You’re extremely important to her. No matter what, you won’t lose her.”

“Maggie said she was your friend, too.”

“That was different. I needed space. We’re still in touch.”

“But it’s not like before.”

“Maggie and I weren’t as close as you and Lena are when I told her about my feelings for her. Things weren’t the same. Kara, look. Either you take a chance or you don’t. But don’t be surprised when someone comes to sweep Lena off her feet while you stand in the background and sulk. You hid it well until a few weeks ago when you started realizing your feelings for her.”

“But I didn’t! I didn’t even understand why I was feeling like this.”

“Well, now you know. You’re jealous because you like her. Very much.”

“Ugh, this is a horrible situation,” Kara laments as she hides her face in her hands.

 

Alex smiles softly and presses a kiss to her temple.

 

“No, it’s not. It’ll be okay.”

 

__

 

Kara ignores Jess’ annoyed glance when she walks past her desk and into Lena’s office without knocking. Lena’s expecting her. She sits behind her desk, hair up in a ponytail and hands running on a keyboard. When Kara enters, she lifts a finger to tell her she needs a moment, and finishes typing whatever she was before Kara interrupted her.

 

Then she looks up and smiles warmly at her friend.

 

“Kara, hi. How’re you?”

“Great!” she says, a little too loud and too forceful to be anything but a white lie.

 

Lena eyes her curiously but keeps on smiling.

 

“You said you had something important to tell me, so I’m all ears.”

 

It seemed much easier in front of her mirror this morning, Kara thinks briefly. She takes a deep breath, sits down opposite Lena and claps her hands in her lap.

 

“Winn was in love with me once. But I didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Then there was James, and we dated for… for a ridiculously short amount of time. And then, Mon-El landed on Earth and we also dated for a few months. And I realize this makes me sound like a player but that’s not at all what it was like. I didn’t ask them to have feelings for me. I didn’t try to seduce them or anything. I—”

“Kara? You’re rambling.”

“Right. Yes. My point is I’m still friends with all of them. So…”

“So?”

“So I hope that even if you reject me we’ll still be friends, too.”

“If I… reject you?”

 

Lena seems completely lost and Kara knows it’s now or never.

 

“Are you free tomorrow night for dinner?”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“I am,” Kara says with a confidence she doesn’t actually feel.

 

Her declaration has stunned Lena into silence. The brunette’s mouth hangs open slightly; a sign that she wasn’t expecting any of that. After an awkward silence, Kara clears her throat.

 

“Lena? I understand if you’re not interested or if you—”

“I’m free.”

“What?”

“I’m free tomorrow night.”

 

Kara is afraid she’s going to start hyperventilating. She bites back a squeal and allows herself to smile as wide as her cheeks will let her. Lena seems terribly amused by the whole situation and Kara wonders if her friend knew about her feelings because Kara herself did.

 

“So, uh, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 7?”

“That sounds perfect. How should I dress?”

“You shouldn’t. I mean, I mean you shouldn’t dress up! I don’t mean… I mean it’s not going to be anything fancy so just… Oh Rao,” she says, mortified.

 

Lena laughs out loud, and Kara watches, frozen, as she gets up and walks around her desk to lean against it, right next to Kara. Her arms crossed, Lena looks down at Kara with a mischievous glint in her eyes. The blonde finally works up enough courage to look her in the eye.

 

“Well? Won’t you even attempt to kiss me,” Lena asks with the raise of an eyebrow.

“I—should I? No, not before the first date. Definitely not,” Kara decides as she stands up.

 

She finds herself inches from Lena and her resolve almost crumbles right there and then.

 

“I definitely wouldn’t hold it against you, though,” Lena remarks. “It’d be our little secret.”

“Lena… can I ask you a question?”

 

The atmosphere grows serious in an instant.

 

“Of course,” Lena agrees as she uncrosses her arms and lets her fingers trail the length of Kara’s.

“Do you like me or are you just humoring me?”

 

She’s so afraid of the answer and yet a part of her knows she needn’t be, because this is Lena and Lena wouldn’t hurt her like that. Lena, whose fingers now grab her hands and put them around her waist.

 

“Look at me,” Lena commands as one of her hands travels to Kara’s cheek and strokes it softly.

 

Kara does as she’s told because she simply can’t refuse Lena.

 

“I like you, Kara. All of you. I didn’t think you were interested in me like that. I thought, well, I thought you were totally straight.”

“Me too, to be honest,” Kara jokes, relieved.

“Ah, well, it wouldn’t be the first time I turn a woman gay,” Lena boasts with a smirk.

 

She’s standing so close, so close…

 

“You can kiss me, you know,” Lena says quietly.

 

And the almighty Supergirl surrenders.


End file.
